What you say flows from what is in your heart. – Luke 6:45
So often we try to discipline ourselves in what we say, and so we should. But, the scripture above teaches us that there is more to it than just discipline. What we say comes from our heart, so we must also deal with our heart.
Our heart is home to who we really are. Our heart contains our passions, desires, emotions, thoughts, intentions, ideas, attitudes, and beliefs. God told Jeremiah, as written in Jeremiah 17:9-10, that the human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked, that He searches all hearts, and gives everyone their due rewards according to what their actions deserve.
If what we are saying is not good, then something is wrong with our heart. We need to find out what is wrong and then deal with it. If the issue is hidden from us, we can ask God, and He will show us. If we are speaking hateful words, God will show us what’s causing the hate. If our words are bitter, He will show us the source of the bitterness. If we speak manipulative or deceiving words, He will show us why we feel that we must control others. You get the idea.
And just how do we deal with it? We can pray as King David did in Psalm 139: 1, 23-24: O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. We surrender to the truth that God shows us, ask for forgiveness, and take the appropriate action to permanently remove it from our heart.
Once dealt with, what is in our heart will change and will be reflected in what we say.